Dilemmas, dilemmas

Good morning friends. Well here I am stuck in a dilemma. See, our relationship has always been based on "I did wrong, now I'm going to buy you what you want and lots of presents". And I have always been soooo excited to receive something new and something I've always wanted. Well today, six weeks later, I have become a different person and also I have grown in the last seven years since the last time I tried to leave. That time I was promised one more baby which I desperately wanted and did get and am sooooooo grateful that I had her.

Well now my husband has decided to "buy" me little things. Saturday I got a bag of books. Over half I already read. They are still in the bag. In his defense, everyone is afraid to buy me a book. I am the classic hit or miss with that! Now last night he bought me two shirts. Like I need two more shirts. (Didn't he say he read my blog the other night for the first time???- I guess he was just happy to read that I wrote wonderful husband because I wanted to be like everyone else in the blogging world who writes that, which I erased). Anyway, he then texted me and said that I could return them if it's against my no shopping challenge. I said it was a gift so it doesn't really count.

But does it count? I now have 47 long sleeved shirts! I decided I have a choice! Yay me! I have a choice! I try it on, see how it looks and if I keep it it will be one of my 10 choices to keep. Or if I really don't like it I return it. One is a plum colored short sleeve shirt and I'm not so sure if I like it. Haven't gone through my t-shirts yet. I haven't really gone through my stuff lately b/c I'm really not in any mood. But I will buck up and try to do this!! Maybe it's easier to do when you don't care about much right now anyway.

As for the books, I think I should return them. Maybe get credit for later on. I don't need to bring any new books in my life right now. I'm already overwhelmed.

Now the problem lies in getting to the store. I think I only have 2 weeks for Barnes & Noble. I don't feel like going into any store right now. I barely made it through the grocery yesterday. I ended up spending $95 on God knows what.

The best part of all of this is my soul has finally settled down. Things I've supressed over the years are coming out. And you know what? I feels really good. Finally, life feels really good! Even in the midst of all this chaos.
Victoria