Posts
The Possibility of Slowing Down
1 week ago
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Apparently my blog has been hacked. Suspicion drives people to do some crazy things. Anyone ever talk to old friends, boyfriends, girlfriends from the past. This day and age, this is how we keep in contact. Yes, I have been talking to LOTS of old friends both guys and girls. I don't have anyone to talk to at home, so what else do I do. I HAVE given up shopping....hello!
feb 10th
Did i mention i contact my old boy friend behind my husband back. and told him how much i still cared for him
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Dilemmas, dilemmas
Good morning friends. Well here I am stuck in a dilemma. See, our relationship has always been based on "I did wrong, now I'm going to buy you what you want and lots of presents". And I have always been soooo excited to receive something new and something I've always wanted. Well today, six weeks later, I have become a different person and also I have grown in the last seven years since the last time I tried to leave. That time I was promised one more baby which I desperately wanted and did get and am sooooooo grateful that I had her.
Well now my husband has decided to "buy" me little things. Saturday I got a bag of books. Over half I already read. They are still in the bag. In his defense, everyone is afraid to buy me a book. I am the classic hit or miss with that! Now last night he bought me two shirts. Like I need two more shirts. (Didn't he say he read my blog the other night for the first time???- I guess he was just happy to read that I wrote wonderful husband because I wanted to be like everyone else in the blogging world who writes that, which I erased). Anyway, he then texted me and said that I could return them if it's against my no shopping challenge. I said it was a gift so it doesn't really count.
But does it count? I now have 47 long sleeved shirts! I decided I have a choice! Yay me! I have a choice! I try it on, see how it looks and if I keep it it will be one of my 10 choices to keep. Or if I really don't like it I return it. One is a plum colored short sleeve shirt and I'm not so sure if I like it. Haven't gone through my t-shirts yet. I haven't really gone through my stuff lately b/c I'm really not in any mood. But I will buck up and try to do this!! Maybe it's easier to do when you don't care about much right now anyway.
As for the books, I think I should return them. Maybe get credit for later on. I don't need to bring any new books in my life right now. I'm already overwhelmed.
Now the problem lies in getting to the store. I think I only have 2 weeks for Barnes & Noble. I don't feel like going into any store right now. I barely made it through the grocery yesterday. I ended up spending $95 on God knows what.
The best part of all of this is my soul has finally settled down. Things I've supressed over the years are coming out. And you know what? I feels really good. Finally, life feels really good! Even in the midst of all this chaos.
Victoria
Well now my husband has decided to "buy" me little things. Saturday I got a bag of books. Over half I already read. They are still in the bag. In his defense, everyone is afraid to buy me a book. I am the classic hit or miss with that! Now last night he bought me two shirts. Like I need two more shirts. (Didn't he say he read my blog the other night for the first time???- I guess he was just happy to read that I wrote wonderful husband because I wanted to be like everyone else in the blogging world who writes that, which I erased). Anyway, he then texted me and said that I could return them if it's against my no shopping challenge. I said it was a gift so it doesn't really count.
But does it count? I now have 47 long sleeved shirts! I decided I have a choice! Yay me! I have a choice! I try it on, see how it looks and if I keep it it will be one of my 10 choices to keep. Or if I really don't like it I return it. One is a plum colored short sleeve shirt and I'm not so sure if I like it. Haven't gone through my t-shirts yet. I haven't really gone through my stuff lately b/c I'm really not in any mood. But I will buck up and try to do this!! Maybe it's easier to do when you don't care about much right now anyway.
As for the books, I think I should return them. Maybe get credit for later on. I don't need to bring any new books in my life right now. I'm already overwhelmed.
Now the problem lies in getting to the store. I think I only have 2 weeks for Barnes & Noble. I don't feel like going into any store right now. I barely made it through the grocery yesterday. I ended up spending $95 on God knows what.
The best part of all of this is my soul has finally settled down. Things I've supressed over the years are coming out. And you know what? I feels really good. Finally, life feels really good! Even in the midst of all this chaos.
Victoria
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Happiness Can't be Bought
Hi everyone! I apologize for my absence. Suffice it to say, I had an eye opening weekend, but now I'm back!
I was going to write about something else, but I feel I need to write about this. My not shopping for the last six weeks has really opened my eyes up to something. Happiness. I have discovered through this challenge that I am truly not happy. I have known it before, but I think I realized what my shopping was all about. I was trying to fill myself with love. I have read about this before, but like an addict, when you're still using, you can't see the forest for the trees.
See, when I went shopping, or my husband bought me things, it filled my love tank. Sadly, I only just realized this. Lately, my love tank has been sucked dry. I have nothing left to give. I can not put on the happy face I always put on. I do not have the energy nor the desire. I. Am. Done.
So this puts my marriage on the forefront. I have chosen to do what makes me happy. And that is not putting on the happy face. I am chosing to be the "me" that has been buried under the "us". Life is too short. Things don't matter.
No wonder my soul has been screaming to me so loud to "Stop it"! "Get off the rollercoaster"! Stuff does not mean anything to me anymore. I don't desire the crap anymore. I don't desire the "new outfit" to make me feel good or the shirt that is just so darn cute it'll make me loveable. My husband offered to buy me a new car! I don't want a new car. That will not fill my love tank!! It has in the past, but I was stuck in this warped thinking. It's like the drug addict getting the next fix because they want that "high" again, although you never can get that first "high" back. Ever!!!! I know because I was that addict. I was warned through treatment that you cross addict. And that is what I've been doing.
So I say to you my friends (even though my friends don't have this problem!), things don't make it better. They mean nothing. Being loved, and cherished and having a partner by your side through everything means more. This is what I want. Not the stuff! And this is what I have not gotten for seventeen years.
And by the way.....I hate lip gloss!!
Victoria
I was going to write about something else, but I feel I need to write about this. My not shopping for the last six weeks has really opened my eyes up to something. Happiness. I have discovered through this challenge that I am truly not happy. I have known it before, but I think I realized what my shopping was all about. I was trying to fill myself with love. I have read about this before, but like an addict, when you're still using, you can't see the forest for the trees.
See, when I went shopping, or my husband bought me things, it filled my love tank. Sadly, I only just realized this. Lately, my love tank has been sucked dry. I have nothing left to give. I can not put on the happy face I always put on. I do not have the energy nor the desire. I. Am. Done.
So this puts my marriage on the forefront. I have chosen to do what makes me happy. And that is not putting on the happy face. I am chosing to be the "me" that has been buried under the "us". Life is too short. Things don't matter.
No wonder my soul has been screaming to me so loud to "Stop it"! "Get off the rollercoaster"! Stuff does not mean anything to me anymore. I don't desire the crap anymore. I don't desire the "new outfit" to make me feel good or the shirt that is just so darn cute it'll make me loveable. My husband offered to buy me a new car! I don't want a new car. That will not fill my love tank!! It has in the past, but I was stuck in this warped thinking. It's like the drug addict getting the next fix because they want that "high" again, although you never can get that first "high" back. Ever!!!! I know because I was that addict. I was warned through treatment that you cross addict. And that is what I've been doing.
So I say to you my friends (even though my friends don't have this problem!), things don't make it better. They mean nothing. Being loved, and cherished and having a partner by your side through everything means more. This is what I want. Not the stuff! And this is what I have not gotten for seventeen years.
And by the way.....I hate lip gloss!!
Victoria
Friday, February 5, 2010
Laundry, Laundry, Laundry
I have been trying to figure out the laundry for about hmmm, all seventeen of my years of marriage. I have not figured out a system that works, although doing it everyday seems to help. It's just that it's always constant when you do that and never a day goes by that you don't do it! I think my husband wishes he could be the laundry! LOL!!
I had a friend tell me that a friend of hers commented on how much laundry she had one day. She told her she had too many clothes and that was why she had soooo much laundry. I was thinking about this the other day. If we only had ten items of each thing, there may not be soooo much laundry. Granted there are five of us in our family. That's a lot of socks! Everyday would be a small load to do then put away.
Hence my problem. I wash everything and it sits out because the dryer gets backed up. Then I forget to dry it because my day gets soooo busy and then my kids are asking for their stuff and it's balled up on the counter damp!
I can't let it go to once a week because I just don't have the time to do it all in one day. Plus, I do the sheets and towels on Thursdays and adding laundry to that day would be too much and not possible to get done!! I still have a half day kindergartener at home.
I also read that if you wear some items twice, that relieves the amount. I have been wearing my jeans twice, but it's hard to remember which tops I've worn once, so I do wash them after wearing. So I am trying to reduce my clothes and see if that will help with the laundry if I finish it each day!!!
So really there is no real solution for me because I just don't keep up with it. And if I do it everyday, there is no guarantee it will be dry!!
Victoria
I had a friend tell me that a friend of hers commented on how much laundry she had one day. She told her she had too many clothes and that was why she had soooo much laundry. I was thinking about this the other day. If we only had ten items of each thing, there may not be soooo much laundry. Granted there are five of us in our family. That's a lot of socks! Everyday would be a small load to do then put away.
Hence my problem. I wash everything and it sits out because the dryer gets backed up. Then I forget to dry it because my day gets soooo busy and then my kids are asking for their stuff and it's balled up on the counter damp!
I can't let it go to once a week because I just don't have the time to do it all in one day. Plus, I do the sheets and towels on Thursdays and adding laundry to that day would be too much and not possible to get done!! I still have a half day kindergartener at home.
I also read that if you wear some items twice, that relieves the amount. I have been wearing my jeans twice, but it's hard to remember which tops I've worn once, so I do wash them after wearing. So I am trying to reduce my clothes and see if that will help with the laundry if I finish it each day!!!
So really there is no real solution for me because I just don't keep up with it. And if I do it everyday, there is no guarantee it will be dry!!
Victoria
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Clothing......
I decided to talk mostly about clothing this month. I wanted to show you what my shopping over the years has done to my closet! Now I know why my soul is practically screaming "Simplify your clothes"!!! I'm always going into my closet with the determination to just be ruthless and go through it and edit and give away. Then I look at one or two pieces and say "oh, but I like that". Then I walk away and go focus on something else! Then I go shopping and pick up cute things at random, not that I need them, and wear them and add them to my closet. Well, I decided to go through each category of clothing and round them up and count what I had.
My first category is long sleeved shirts. I think I found every one of them (I will edit if I find more, which I really hope I don't). I have, drum roll please, 46!!! That is crazy!! Who needs 46 long sleeved shirts!! A couple of them are peasant tops which I really love, but don't wear??? I don't get that! Some have logos on them (like from Lucky). No wonder when my husband's mom gave me two more long sleeved shirts for Christmas, I wasn't over the moon! I didn't need them!!
So I decided on the number 10. I felt that would be a good number to start with. All this month I'm going to wear a different one, and take my pictures, and choose 10 out of the 25 I wear. Since it's February 3 I only have 25 more days. Yesterday I wore a black one I just got from Costco, Lucky brand, and while I love it, it's a bit too big. Should have gotten medium, but I don't like my shirts tight. I need to learn to try it on and return if it doesn't fit right, but I never do that and I just wear it and it never looks good. So I'm debating if I want this to be one of my top ten. Another buying mistake! But hey, I'm learning. The ones I decide not to keep as my top ten, I will store away and maybe rotate next year. I'm not ready to give anything away this year as I can't buy anything and in the last month of winter, I may need to wear these.
When I do get back into the "shopping" world, I want to have the "one new one comes in, one old one goes out". Then I'd really keep my wardrobe down. In my case next year, one comes in and five will have to go out! But hey, it will really make me think before I buy! Unless of course what I'm buying I don't have at all (tube top, leather pants! LOL-not in this lifetime!).
So this month I will try to edit and reduce my long sleeved tops to only 10. I'm also going to take inventory of my pants. Since these are the two things I'm wearing this month. Oh and sweats outfits. I will use the number 10 for my pants. My sweats I will use the number 5 because I don't have 10 of those ( I don't think!). Also, I don't need 10 sweats outfits.
I'm also going to look back over the pictures I took last month of my outfits and see what I really liked on me. Which I don't think was anything because I'm trying to get some of this weight off!! And if I didn't LOVE it, I'm going to store it away. Some of my long sleeved shirts I already wore, so maybe it will help and I won't have to wear it again or I will wear it again because I loved it!
So here's to finally reducing my wardrobe! I will succeed and get it down to a manageable amount of only things I love, love, love! Some of my favorite blogs talk about this. I really want to be simpler and in control and get dressed knowing what I'm wearing is cute and looks good!! :)
Victoria
My first category is long sleeved shirts. I think I found every one of them (I will edit if I find more, which I really hope I don't). I have, drum roll please, 46!!! That is crazy!! Who needs 46 long sleeved shirts!! A couple of them are peasant tops which I really love, but don't wear??? I don't get that! Some have logos on them (like from Lucky). No wonder when my husband's mom gave me two more long sleeved shirts for Christmas, I wasn't over the moon! I didn't need them!!
So I decided on the number 10. I felt that would be a good number to start with. All this month I'm going to wear a different one, and take my pictures, and choose 10 out of the 25 I wear. Since it's February 3 I only have 25 more days. Yesterday I wore a black one I just got from Costco, Lucky brand, and while I love it, it's a bit too big. Should have gotten medium, but I don't like my shirts tight. I need to learn to try it on and return if it doesn't fit right, but I never do that and I just wear it and it never looks good. So I'm debating if I want this to be one of my top ten. Another buying mistake! But hey, I'm learning. The ones I decide not to keep as my top ten, I will store away and maybe rotate next year. I'm not ready to give anything away this year as I can't buy anything and in the last month of winter, I may need to wear these.
When I do get back into the "shopping" world, I want to have the "one new one comes in, one old one goes out". Then I'd really keep my wardrobe down. In my case next year, one comes in and five will have to go out! But hey, it will really make me think before I buy! Unless of course what I'm buying I don't have at all (tube top, leather pants! LOL-not in this lifetime!).
So this month I will try to edit and reduce my long sleeved tops to only 10. I'm also going to take inventory of my pants. Since these are the two things I'm wearing this month. Oh and sweats outfits. I will use the number 10 for my pants. My sweats I will use the number 5 because I don't have 10 of those ( I don't think!). Also, I don't need 10 sweats outfits.
I'm also going to look back over the pictures I took last month of my outfits and see what I really liked on me. Which I don't think was anything because I'm trying to get some of this weight off!! And if I didn't LOVE it, I'm going to store it away. Some of my long sleeved shirts I already wore, so maybe it will help and I won't have to wear it again or I will wear it again because I loved it!
So here's to finally reducing my wardrobe! I will succeed and get it down to a manageable amount of only things I love, love, love! Some of my favorite blogs talk about this. I really want to be simpler and in control and get dressed knowing what I'm wearing is cute and looks good!! :)
Victoria
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